Ho! Ho! Ho! Laugh at Best Funny Christmas Jokes and Comics

Best Funny Christmas Jokes and Comics

Happy Holidays! Count down the days until December 25th with these very funny kid’s Christmas jokes sent in by Scout Life readers. We guarantee this clean holiday humor will help you “ho ho ho” like a certain jolly old elf.

Caroline: What happens when Santa Claus gets stuck in a chimney?
Jill: Tell me.
Caroline: He gets Claustrophobia!

Drake: You find it in December but not in any other month. What is it?
Gina: I don’t know.
Drake: The letter D!

Maggie: What is the most dangerous kind of body part?
Sara: I don’t know.
Maggie: Mistletoes.

Zachary: Which of Santa’s reindeer are dinosaurs afraid of?
Lee: No idea.
Zachary: Comet!

Ricky: What is a snowman’s favorite snack?
Zoey: I don’t know.
Ricky: Ice crispy treats.

Henry: What did one gingerbread man say after all the others were eaten?
Lauren: I haven’t the foggiest.
Henry: “It’s hard to bake new friends.”

Tom Swifty: “I wish I’d never come to the North Pole,” Tom said coldly.

Young: What do tigers sing at Christmas?
Chris: I’m stumped.
Young: “Jungle Bells!”

Carter: What do elves do in school?
Miley: What?
Carter: Presentations!

Arjun: What do you call a snowman with a six pack?
Alexander: I haven’t the foggiest.
Arjun: An abdominal snowman.

Nathaniel: What do you call Santa Claus with unfolded clothes?
Tyler: I don’t know. What?
Nathaniel: Kris Wrinkle.

John: What did the gingerbread man put on his bed?
Zack: What?
John: A cookie sheet.

Suiyao: Who is Santa’s favorite singer?
David: I don’t know.
Suiyao: Elf-is Presley!

Ben: What did the peanut butter say to the grape on Christmas?
Jack: I don’t know.
Ben: “‘Tis the season to be jelly.”

Isaac: What is the Grinch’s favorite holiday?
Anthony: I don’t know.
Isaac: Grinchmas!

Jeremy: What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
Brian: I’m stumped.
Jeremy: Frostbite!

Donald: What’s Pedro’s favorite part of Christmas?
Will: What?
Donald: Elfalfa milkshakes!

Peter: Someone must be mad at Frosty the Snowman.
Isaiah: Why?
Peter: Because they gave him two black eyes.

Sean: Knock, knock.
Fawn: Who’s there?
Sean: Murray.
Fawn: Murray who?
Sean: Murray Christmas, one and all!

One night a Viking named Rudolph the Red was looking out the window when he said, “It’s going to rain.”

His wife asked, “How do you know?”

“Because Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear.”

Joke submitted by Jorgen R., Prunedale, Calif.

Caleb: What does Christmas have to do with a cat lost in the desert?
Ben: Beats me.
Caleb: They both have sandy claws.

Laure: Why do mummies like the holidays so much?
Benny: Why?
Laure: They’re into all the wrapping.

Killian: Knock, knock.
Gary: Who’s there?
Killian: Pizza.
Gary: Pizza, who?
Killian: Pizza on earth, good will toward men!

Noah: What is a bird’s favorite Christmas story?
Mike: I haven’t a clue.
Noah: The Finch Who Stole Christmas.

Rylan: What does a grumpy sheep say at Christmas?
Ryan: What?
Rylan: “Baaaa humbug!”

Casen: What do you call a shark that delivers toys at Christmas?
Austin: I’m stumped.
Casen: “Santa Jaws!”

Will: Where do snowmen keep their money?
Bill: Beats me.
Will: In a snow bank.

Bill: Why are Christmas trees so fond of the past?
Laura: Why?
Bill: Because the present’s beneath them.

Sister: What are you giving Mom and Dad for Christmas?
Brother: A list of everything I want!

Tim: Did you know Santa had only eight reindeer last Christmas?
Jim: Huh?
Tim: Comet stayed home to clean the sink.

Chris: What do snowmen like to do on the weekend?
Chrissy: What?
Chris: Chill out.

Josh: What does Jack Frost like best about school?
John: What?
Josh: Snow and tell.

Zoey: What do you get if you cross an iPad with a Christmas tree?
Johnny: I don’t know. What?
Zoey: A pineapple!

Moe: What are you going to give your little brother for Christmas this year?
Joe: I haven’t decided yet.
Moe: What did you give him last year?
Joe: The measles.

Pedro: What has a jolly laugh, brings you presents and scratches up your furniture?
Ordep: Beats me. What?
Pedro: Santa Claws.

Jacob: What do road crews use at the North Pole?
Jason: I don’t know.
Jacob: Snow cones!

Travis: Where do polar bears vote?
Anthony: Where?
Travis: The North Poll!